"Virtually every bride has a custom wedding," noted Richard Rayment, the head chef of the Ritz-Carlton, in Boston. "Everyone wants their wedding to have something different. No two weddings are exactly alike. Some bring in clippings. They ask us and we discuss it and see if we can do it." Wayne Gibson, the head chef of Castle Hill, Newport, noted that while most couples make modest changes in the recommended menus such as varying a vegetable or adding an additional starch, about 30% choose a custom menu. "We try to eliminate the need for a custom menu by offering a wide variety of balanced choices," he said. "We want to head off requests for unacceptable choices."

Award-winning chefs will not allow food choices that compromise the integrity and quality of their menu for either special events or for the hotel restaurants they supervise. The Ritz-Carlton has separate cooking staffs and kitchens for their restaurants and for events, while Castle Hill uses one set of chefs and one kitchen for both the restaurant and events. Space and staffing affect flexibility and supervision and are major factors in determining which choices are logistically acceptable.

Many chefs insist on using only seasonal seafood and produce items. "I wont use swordfish in winter," Gibson noted. "Although its available, I dont like its quality." Mix and match choices may also be over ruled if sauces and entres are not complementary. Rayment limits pastries as entres to receptions of 200 people or less. "We use plate covers to keep them hot; and they would get soggy otherwise," he said. Gibson noted, "A lobster pastry with shallots and fresh herbs in a filo dough, stuffed chicken breasts or a raw bar are all hand prepared on the premises the day of the event. Some pasta dishes have to be cooked at the last minute. Items executed only by the head chef or requiring an additional cook may incur extra charges.

Both hotels offer vegetarian choices. Castle Hill describes its menu as fine American cuisine and allows ethnic foods to be brought in. "Ill even allow Aunt Mabels jello mold," Gibson noted. The Ritz-Carlton has an international menu and permits no foods to be brought in with the exception of glaat kosher food from a kosher company.

While the bride may initially meet the catering manager, she may speak directly to the head chef or banquet chef. Custom consultations may have additional charges only if they become involved and lengthy. Both chefs are patient with brides who change their minds and their menus, even if it happens more than once. "If a person is predisposed to call and change selections, I let them," Gibson said. Rayment noted that although he doesnt encourage it, he will arrange a second or even third tasting if it is needed without additional charges. A tasting at the Ritz-Carlton includes the wedding cake, other desserts, canaps and other appetizers, entres and any foods served on station. Choices may be available in plates, linens, glassware and even the type of service. At the Ritz-Carlton three tables with flowers supplied by the brides florist may be set for a pre-wedding tabletop viewing. Sit-down dinners there may choose silver service (French or Russian) in which service is from large silver platters.

Sit-down dinners and food stations may be combined. An initial salad course may be served sit-down to avoid early lines at food stations. The number of food stations needed varies with the variety of the offerings and the number of guests. "Some brides like a lot of different stations with a lot of variety like meat, fish, pasta and vegetables," Rayment noted. "The more stations, the more spread out the guests are. It creates a nice atmosphere. Generally, each carving station can only accommodate 75 guests."

Other popular choices besides pastries as entres include combination entres such as swordfish and beef on the same plate, pt de fois gras appetizers, cold cherry soup and other cold soups in summer and sorbet served between courses in martini glasses topped with sugars in differing colors to clear the palate.

Chefs today, are bride friendlyeven those like Gibson who "have won so many medals, he would be hunched over like the witch in the Wizard of Oz if he wore them all at once." They wont refuse your wedding because you dared to ask questions. See if your preferences are appropriate and logistically feasible. If they can accommodate your wishes without jeopardizing the quality of their art, they will gladly.