Setting the Day to Music

The party may rely on food, ambiance and conversation to generate a successful mix, but a wedding also needs music to energize the guests and turn on the emotion, excitement and fun. The ceremony, the cocktail hour, the reception and the rehearsal dinner may all be enhanced with music.

Increasingly, brides are choosing multiple musical providers from among single performers, string quartets, specialty bands, ethnic bands, general wedding bands and disc jockeys for different aspects of their wedding weekend, and even for the reception itself.

Brian Walkley represents 10 separate Boston-based bands including several specialty bands. Yet for wedding receptions, he doesn't recommend using specialty bands exclusively. "When there are 200 guests, there are 200 different musical appetites," Walkley noted. "Sometimes brides have specific ideas in mind. They want reggae or swing or even steel drums. When people have a generous budget, they do book a swing band or a reggae band, but mix that specialty band with all American music. Otherwise guests develop ear fatigue. After an hour of all swing music, everything sounds the same. A lot of people see swing as classy and high society, but their guests frequently leave early." Some brides mix specialty and general dance music by alternating sets throughout the reception. Sometimes a band and disc jockey may alternate sets providing the entertainment for the party. Others use general music or blues during dinner, leaving the after dinner excitement to an ethnic or specialty band.

Audiotapes, referral letters and play lists help brides choose among musical providers. "On tapes, you can hear distinctly each band's musical attitude in all the styles they play," Walkley explained. "Brides need to understand the parameters of what each band tries to do, who the vocalist is, what type of music they play and what specific songs they play. It's an educational process sharing ideas and experiences."

With some noteworthy exceptions such as the Mac Chrupcala Orchestra in Newport, RI, most live bands do not accept requests unless that song is already part of their play list. Some live performers with enough advance notice will learn a special song for the couple's first dance or some other special moment. Others will make arrangements to play a recorded version of that song. For the first dance, he recommends a slow ballad to enhance photographic opportunities while for the cake cutting, he recommends anything with a beat. "For couples who are not great dancers, a token first dance opens up the floor," he noted. "Most couples don't want to waste a lot of time with the first dance. They want to keep the party moving. Sometimes guests want to rock right away between the courses."

Consider your guest list profile. If your guests' musical tastes are unusual or ethnic or if you have a number of special songs that you want played or that you don't want played, you need to discuss this in advance with any musical providers you are interviewing. They need to understand your musical tastes as well as those of your guests to create the atmosphere for a successful party. At most weddings, guests span several generations, each with their own distinctive music. At some, guests come from a variety of countries. Generally, disc jockeys, some of which are now performing at the most prestigious venues, are able to provide the greatest individual degree of flexibility for unusual or non-traditional musical tastes. In choosing live music, Walkley warns that brides should realize that good musicians are not necessarily good wedding musicians and that good music is not necessarily good wedding music. "At weddings and rehearsal dinners, guests want to follow the melody and understand the music," he explained. "This is not the place for original music or even for recognizable tunes played in a way most people wouldn't recognize. It's not a concert. Wedding musicians have to be dedicated to the event and to reading the crowd, not just their art. They have to be flexible enough to cross over and play the music that people want to hear. That focus makes all the difference."

Music should build as the reception advances. During dinner, background music of some type is played. Walkley recommends what he calls creative listening music that has life to it and sets toes tapping. He times the parental dance to begin right after the main course and then condenses it into one dance for the mother-son and father-daughter. "Guests are not professional partiers," he explained. "Simplicity is important. We utilize every trick to motivate people to dance. By extending this song, we get everyone up to dance. We lower the lighting unless we're in a tent where that's not always possible. As soon as the song ends, we turn up the dance music communicating that the party is on!"

Chamber quartets, solo performers or vocalists are the most popular choices for ceremonial music. When the reception is at the same location as the ceremony, many of these performers may also entertain during cocktails. "Musicians have to play to the party, going inside it, growing with it and making a statement," Walkley said. "They reach people through their emotions. A great wedding band creates a catharsis of emotion."